dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
