I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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