If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
