I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
