garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
