lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
