i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
