google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
