i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
this just has baby written all over it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just puked most of my soul out..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
