its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
This toilet bowl is my home.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
