I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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