im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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