you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
