i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
