they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
