That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
