You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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