shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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