IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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