there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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