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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'

  (253): View more from Washington

  no more ever clear

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• (408): View more from California

  Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.

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• (914): View more from New York

  i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified

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• (805): View more from California

  Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."

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• (207): View more from Maine

  If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution

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