did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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