we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
