do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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