if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
