last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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