Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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