and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
