I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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