I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
