and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
home. puking in laundry basket.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
