those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
