i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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