Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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