obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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