I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
