In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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