Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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