did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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