Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
