Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
