But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
