this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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