I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
