So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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