Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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