ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I am midnight drunk by noon
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
