Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
