when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
