I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
